1 MISTAKE THAT CREATES CONFLICTS

1 MISTAKE THAT CREATES CONFLICTS || Man is a social animal. Anybody who accomplished anything is with the help of others. We are born from a relationship, we have to maintain relationships and it is required to live a happy life. By relationships , I mean all the relationships like with friends , family , teachers , peers etc. But on the other side, all the problems in one's life is because of relationships. Here we will discuss the causes of it and its negotiations in a divine and equipoise attitude.

In relationships we all have some expectation with others like he should do this or she should not do like this and so on. As along as the expectation of the persons involved in relationships are met , it goes very good but as soon as the expectations does not meet , the problem arises. These are because of the changing temperament of people.Our mind is made up of material energy, this material energy develops 3 gunas (characteristics) inside us.

 They are as follows:

1. Sattva guna (mode of goodness)

2. Rajas guna   (mode of passion)

3.Tamas guna  (mode of ignorance)

Out of these 3 , which ever is dominant in us, become our nature. These are like 3 wrestler, at a particular time, one can dominate on others and at other time, second can dominate on 1st and 3rd and it goes same with 3rd. The gunas are also developed by way which we think,admire etc.

Let us take an example , we are sitting in a lecture of some highly educated philosopher, the whole environment is full of positivity and the sattva guna is now dominant in all who are there. Just after the lecture when we go outside the room and some got collides to us and he says to us"are you blind, can't you see properly" and now we got angry and said " you stupid, I will pull out your tongue". and now all sattva is gone and  rajas is dominant. In this way the gunas changing according to time and situation.

So, now we can say that when these gunas  of two persons are same , the chances of conflict is very less or no chance but when these gets opposite there is a higher chance of conflict.

There was a couple, one day wife said to husband "There is series of knowledgeable lecture is going to happen in a certain hall." (her sattva(mode of goodness is more dominant)  But the husband replied" there is new bollywood movie is launched let's go to watch it and we could have great entertainment there."( his mode of passion (rajas) is dominant). So, one went to movie and one went to lecture. They both were angry with each other, when they reached home, real movie started can be seen by them and the lectures were started to be delivered to each other.

But, if a person can understand others mindset and is ready to compromise or to find a new solution , they will save their relationship. This is known as adjustment . The people who are wise and knowledgeable uses the adjustment to live happy and save relations.

Once, wife said to husband "You have received salary , now the dress we have seen in the mall should come home ". The husband started to think " How chudail is she. Does money grows on tree. If I will not buy it she will not cook for me". But instead of saying this , he replied " Oh! I was thinking to surprise you by presenting it as a gift to you" .

See, what he was thinking but what he said, this will save their relation and such act can also be done from wife side also. 

By Adjustment, one can be grumbling from inside but the persons who does not try to match their gunas by their partner they are grumbling internally as well as from outer also and creating a voilent environment.

Now, you must thinking that if gunas  of two are same at same time , then there would be no conflict.

The answer is "no" , the quantity of gunas too. Two persons could doing same thing but one of them is tired and is tending towards mode of ignorance and the other is still in the mode of goodness then it will be the condition of conflict.

All we have to use are mind according to the situation. Once in the Akbar Birbal stories , the daughet of Akbar was having strain in her eye, The Vaidya  said that she should see green to soothen here eye.So, Akbar ordered to pain every thing green nearby his palace. So the workers started to paint every thing green even the workers started to paint the humans green but then Birbal arrived and he asked the workers , what is this going on, the workers said , it the order of King Akbar. Birbal then reached to Akbar and asked what is the reason behind this crazy order and he answered his daughter needs to see green. Birbal replied , there is a very easy solution for it, make her wear green glasses and she will be able to see every thing green.

So, the world is not going to change, no body else is going to change , all we have to is change ourselves, change our perception and learn to adjust in every situation to live happy.

Thankyou