FUNDAMENTAL TECHNIQUES IN HANDLING PEOPLE – CHAPTER 1

 

FUNDAMENTAL TECHNIQUES IN HANDLING PEOPLE – CHAPTER 1

 

We live in a world of social interactions and maintaining a good relation is a necessary task for us whether in any relationship or else in business or corporate environment.

The American writer Dale Carnegie in his book “How to win friends and influence people” have mentioned various techniques to handle people and establish good relations with them. His very first chapter.

“If you want to gather honey, do not kick over the beehive”

He explained this with a story.

On May 7, 1931 the criminal who was popular as “Two gun Crowly” was trapped in his sweetheart’s apartment in an attempt of hiding himself from police. But he was in the eyes of police. The police decided to make a hole on the roof of apartment to throw tear gas inside. The whole residential area reverberated with the cracking of pistols and machine gun.

 All in vain. Crowly hid under an overstuffed chair. This whole incidence lasted for a while and was viewed by ten thousand excited people as they never saw something like this before.

During the firing crowly wrote a letter addressing that under his coat he has a warm heart, kind hearted person and never wanted to hurt someone, what he does is for his own defence. Later he was caught by the police.

Earlier sometime, when he was partying with his girlfriend and passing by a highway a policeman reached him and asked him for the licence. Without saying a single word, he drew his gun and cut the policemen down the head with a shower of lead. And this was that man who wrote “under my coat there is a warm and caring”. For all of his crimes, he was sentenced for the electric chair death. He said “This is what I get for defending myself”

There was another criminal A1 capone – the most notorious of Chicago. Shot anyone who he sees and lead the Chicago experience the rain of bullets. He often says; people misunderstood him and called himself a public benefactor. And so the Dutch Schultz, the most notorious of New York also called himself a public benefactor.

Did you see something thing similar in all of them? The characteristic of defending themselves even after committing crimes.

Carnegie also provides examples of supervisors trying to alter workers’ actions with intimidation and complaint to no avail. But, when the managers changed to provide support, the employees responded by following the manager’s order. In comparison, Carnegie claims that criticism does not result in “long-term changes,” but rather in long-term anger. This results in...

Principle 1: Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain

 

The Author Dale Carnegie with this story explained that there is deep sense of pride attached to people’s ego. May be conscious or subconscious.

By the title “If you want to gather honey, do not kick over the beehive” author wants us to tell that, if you want to establish good relations with someone. You have to stop criticize, condemn or complain them.

Criticising , condemning or complaining about someone, puts them on the defensive mode and even if they knew that they made a mistake in their mind they still oppose you and at last a kind a stress or tension will be getting birth. Ultimately, destroying your social life.

If you want to handle people, you have to stop judging and focussing more towards yourself, stop complaining about others.

Another suggestion

“Don’t complain about the snow on your neighbor’s roof,” said Confucius, “When you own doorstep is unclean.”

Carnegie suggests that before trying to change someone, we should begin with ourselves:  "it is much more profitable…and a lot less dangerous."

Final Quote

Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain – and most fools do.

But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving

Thankyou